Loss of Individua-Sexuality part2

New word I developed.

The door read “Therapy Group”.

Inside in a circle of chairs were different types of people.  The first person stood up and said, “My name is Jim and I am a construction worker and I suffer from loss of Individua-Sexuality”.  The group said “Hello Jim!”  He went on to say, “It has been 2 years since I have been able to cat call at a pretty woman going by the construction site.  I have no feeling of being who I really am, and that is a construction worker who likes to whistle at pretty dames”.

Next this elder woman stood up and said, “Uh hello, my name is Agnes and I am a teacher and I suffer from loss of Individua-Sexuality”.   The group said, “Hello Agnes!”.  There was bewilderment in the crowd of how she was going to explain this one.  She sheepishly said, “In my part time I write BDSM erotica and I cannot let anyone know what I do”.  She went on, “I write it dirty and love a good spanking but I can’t tell anyone and that is why I have a loss of Individua-Sexuality”.

Loss of Individua-Sexuality is when you cannot be who you want to be because it is either not PC or fear of family or friends shunning you.




August 17, 2012 by gabdeveraux

Where would we all be with out this word….Imagination? We would have a world with out any books, art, music, and not much of anything else really. Yet I realize most days being the creative type that I am I find myself being lost in my own imagination. Do you?

When I was a young “wee” one on my report card it would report that I would be “daydreaming” all day long in class. I was not really “daydreaming” I was creating a world of my own. A world much brighter and more beautiful than the dull grey classroom that I sat in daily. It is no secret to most who have read most of my work that I have “suffered” for a long time with ADHD but I wonder am I really suffering or is it that I just am imagining a better place to be. Maybe I just love my other world better. Maybe this place was a bit too much for me. I don’t really know I just know that I wouldn’t be writing today without my imagination. So to all the writers out there be thankful for your IMAGINATION….

Inspire someone today! Be inspired…Imagine a better world.

The Birth of a Story

Simple sounds of silence

Trumpeting in my head are my thoughts

A story unfolds and the path is there

I follow it from keystroke to keystroke

The pictures begin to show more clearly

Then just like that it starts generating speed

The typing gets faster

The pictures become like a movie

I see the characters begin to take form

I know them intimately Before the next word is typed

I know what will be said

I know what will be done

I know sadness

The last two words appear

The End


Then there is simple sounds of silence

A new story unfolds.

I hope you enjoyed it.


This is how I come up with a story and all of this was written consecutively with no changes and no keystroke stops. X

Looking for Something for that Special Guy

Check this interview that I did on Porn Life Magazine.

There are so many sex toys for women out there and here is an idea for men.  Hurray.


It is the weekend, so you and your lover need to take a trip to your local sex shop and get a toy for each other.  Why not have nothing but fun for the weekend?

Keep looking for some great ideas on how to use it.

Check my Facebook page at XavierZyta

Book Sade can be found at  Sade


Sade from the Bow Down Serve Me series

This is an excerpt from my book Sade.  Enjoy, but be warned, it is graphical in nature (Ages 18+)  and with any luck you will get drawn into it. Even if you may not want to.  Shhhh you may like it.   Please visit hotlitbooks.org.  X

Chapter 1 Silent Butterfly

      “Fwaaapp” cracked the bullwhip and she stirred after the tip cut through her skin.  A noise was made from her.   Yummm, the taste is like alcohol to a drunk, or as the proverbial candy to a baby.  The wet metallic taste of blood along with the smell of sweat and tears, that aroma makes me invincible.  After I run my finger along the new opening in her skin and wiped as much as I could on my finger and run it across my tongue.  I pull myself back from my state and try to remember what I am here for and what I am doing.  With that I snap back from my self-enjoyment to continue with the reason I am here.  Crack, I snapped the bullwhip to make the noise loud and to cause her to be more receptive to the moment.  I snap it against her left thigh and see the skin turn to red and the slow fluid starts to slide down her leg and a sound came from her that seemed louder this time than the last.  I slide close and slowly move my fingers to the slow flow of the blood oozing out of her thigh and take a taste, salty and metallic and to me it is so sweet.  She starts to shiver and I see that as I went for the taste of her life’s liquid draining out of her thigh, she winced and tried to slide away, but she couldn’t do that as she was not going to move at all.  What a way to be woken up, with the cracking sound of the bullwhip.  Her eyes were widening now and it was not going to be too hard to awaken fully.  Unlike in the morning when you are getting out of bed from a long nights slumber.


Just like before I cracked the whip but not on her, but up next to her ear.  The deafening sound of the bullwhip made her express what sounded to be a shriek; as I am sure she thought I was going to crack the end of it on her face.  I didn’t do that and would never hit a woman with my bullwhip on their face and possibly mess up a woman’s precious beautiful smile.  I loved to see a woman smile that usually has bright eyes and a glow.  With rounded cheeks from being pulled in at the jaw muscles, as it is said there is less muscles used to smile than frown and I loved to see a woman’s smile.  I wanted to tell her that she could have a beautiful smile if she would try, but this was not the time to do that as we had only begun.

She was tied up, in a standing position with her arms spread apart and her legs spread wide.  I had designed posts to hold someone in a stretched position.  There were 12×12 beams that run the side and another beam that was a 12×12 beam across the top.  I could hold a car’s engine up if I wanted to with these beams.  I had gotten these beams out of an old papermill that had originally been used to truss up a second floor.  On each corner section of my contraption I had fastened metal shackles that I could fasten rope or chain through and there was a shackle at the center of the beam, so if I wanted to suspend someone, I could, even if they weighed 10,000 lbs.   I had lashed the ropes that bind her through the shackles and around to the tie offs that I had secured on the side of the beams.  This way if I wanted to tighten or loosen, I could do it easily and without too much fuss.  It is used to spread out my victims.  While in her spread position and all tied up I had placed a ball gag in her mouth and covered it with tape.  The gag and tape held her sounds internally with only slight sounds escaping for only my ears to hear.

She was clothed in a pair of blue jeans and a pink tank top, the type with the thin straps.  I reached in my back pocket and pulled out my trauma scissors.  I cut down the center of the shirt and I seen her eyes widen.  I snipped the straps and it fell to the floor just as free as a bird.  I took my scissors and slid them down the left side of her jeans and cut a nice slit in the side of her jeans.  She moved her hips but to no avail.  I placed the scissors back into my back pocket and took my hands and grabbed on each side of the slit of the jeans and pulled and separated them apart.  A nice size split was in them now down to about the top of her knees.  I walked around to the other side and repeated the function.  The jeans front fell forward and the back half sort of fell but was stopped mainly by the roundness of her ass.  I looked at the section just laying there across her ass and enjoyed the view.  I took out my trauma scissors and continued the cut to the bottom of the jeans.  Then I went to the other side and separated the front section from the back section.  Of course, I had predetermined what was going to happen so that is why the ropes where tied below the jeans on her ankles and now she stood tied in only her bra and panties and the terror in her eyes.  She had a white bra on that was not flattering at all, sort of like one that was what you would see on an old lady.  There were no frills, no laciness and definitely not something you would see in Victoria Secrets.  She had a yellow thong that had a smiley face on it, so this was the complete opposite of her bra.  Her undergarments were one that was plain and the other that was more playful, so when she got dressed in the morning was it the search for anything clean or was there thought in what she put on.  It would seem there was no thought in it at all, and there was not the possibility in her thoughts of meeting a new lover.  If there was that thought and she would wear this then she would disappoint someone, but not me.  With that I reached over to the tray, it is a chrome medical sterilized tray on wheels that I can roll around to wherever I please.  It’s the type you see at the doctor’s office or just like you see in the movies, and grabbed the knife.  The hunting knife is my favorite tool to play with as I enjoy watching a woman’s eyes grow from fear.  Fear is the key to life as it is the thing that makes you make decisions with and without rational thought.  I don’t get this response when I pull out my trauma scissors.  I slowly moved towards her and showed her the blade and I see her eyes grow wider.  I place the knife in between her breasts and slice right through the center of her bra and it hung there as it only had opened up and exposing just the insides of her round breasts.  I watched her eyes grow what seemed even wider.  Then I drew the blade to the left arm strap and slid it upwards to see it slice the strap into two pieces.  It fell down and her left breast was more exposed.   Then I cut the right strap and the bra then fell to the ground exposing her breasts.  I put the knife down to her left side and cut the thong and then the other side and it fell without a care exposing her pussy and her bush.  Now she is standing with nothing on but the ropes that were binding her and stretching her open to whatever I wanted to do to her.

 I wonder if she was wishing she had never passed through that door.  If she had possibly taken a detour from her fate and if she was wishing that she had just gone to work that day.


Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/xavierzyta

Normal Sex for me, may not be for you

Dinner was great and we were getting along so well.  She wanted to go back to her apartment and we went in for coffee.  Things were going well and kissing became passionate.  She said, “Let’s move to the bedroom”.

It came time to see and I knew it was going to end up being the same as always.  I had asked if I could cut the lights off and she wanted to keep it on.  She unhooked her pink bra and her supple breasts fell.  Her areolas were light brown and her nipples were beginning to grow.  Now it was my turn and urged to turn the lights at least down with no avail.  I took my shirt off and hoped it was not as bad, so I have a few extra pounds or twenty plus.  She looked like her eyes were saying okay but I saw her smile lower a bit.  She continued though, and pulled her jeans down.  She showed the matching pink panties that looked so nice on her.  She was beautiful and looked so hot.  Her body was almost perfect as there was maybe a few pounds extra, but she has curves and sexy.  It came my turn and I realized that since I did not think this was going to go to this level, I probably should have put on a clean pair of underwear.  Wait, which ones do I have on.  Geez, I have a pair of tighty-whiteys on and I am sure my face is red.

I moved in to hug her and hold her.  She gave a big hug back.  She slipped back and looked at me and I knew it was my turn.  I pulled my pants down quickly and her smile went away.  Luckily we had a few drinks before we got back to her apartment.  If we had not drink and if we were not at her apartment, I think this would have went a different direction.  Along with this in the back of my mind, I remember she had said that it had been a few months since she has had sex.  I guess this was her, well I am this far let’s see if he can fuck better than his looks.

The pain continued and I thought it was time to move in before this became get the hell out.  I slid into hug her and give her a kiss.  She gave such a passionate kiss or was it really her mind wandering.  Who was I in her visions.  I moved my hands downward to grasp her panties and I felt her move a bit, but she let me continue.  I felt her panties slowly move down, I pulled them off of her last foot and seen her beauty.  She had a shaved form in the traditional runway strip.  Her brown strip was lined so perfectly straight to her lips.  Oh god, she looked so hot and with that my face went into embarrassment.  She looked at me like what is wrong.

I had explained that it had been a long time since my last sexual encounter.  Now, how do I explain that I just came.  This is just getting worse.  So quickly thinking I slid her on the bed and spread her legs. I spent time doing all the right things.  I did it slowly and I went through the alphabet twice and spent a few minutes humming the Star Spangled Banner.  She seemed to enjoy it but I wasn’t sure.  She hadn’t came yet.  She pushed my head back and said, “Fuck me”.  I thought I had heard her mutter, “So we can get this over”.  I stood and pulled my underwear down and I heard it.  She giggled and luckily, it was small and it was not like I had not heard this before.  I was not endowed as I was not blessed but cursed.  My dick was smaller than the length of my Bic lighter and I had reached another hard on again luckily.  I moved faster than a cheetah to get inside her and there was no time to give her an opportunity to deny me this opportunity.  I dropped between her legs and moved up until I had found her opening and entered.  I planted a kiss and clasped my hands in hers and held hers upwards.

Pumped in once, pumped in twice and I knew it was over and pulled out and the drop drizzled out.  My autonomic response of sorry was released almost as fast as my sexual prowess.  Her look was of disgust and she said, “Get off and leave”.  I got up and kept offering my apologies as I was dressing.  I left her apartment with a smile.

Fly In Your Journey

First let me say, I am sorry for the following.  I hate that there are so many friends who either themselves or family/friends experiencing sickness, surgery or bad health.  I wish all the best of luck and that there will be quick recovery from this.

Also, it irks me that there are so many haters out there that hurt my friends.  There is no need for this and it should not be allowed.   Unfortunately, they win when they cause a person to change who they are or steer them away from their beautiful self.  We are all different and that is what makes us unique and even though we don’t travel the same path, it does not mean that the mean/haters should try and force us on their path.

Forget the path, fly and be yourself on your own journey.  I heard something similar and it made me think and wanted to pass along, but of course in my own way.   Grasp the moment, as it is irreplaceable.  If the sun is shining, enjoy it.  If the clouds are there, enjoy your ability to breathe as the storm will pass.  Hug someone today and let them know that you are glad they are in your life, if you cannot hug them at least tell them.  X

Walk the path you want to and when you are ready fly.

Morning Desire

Looking deep into your morning beauty

I hold you so tight as my need grows

I tell you how much I need you

My desire is so deep

My nose opens and I take in your essence

Eyes widen

I want to take all of you in

You taste so sweet and I want more

Disappointment sets in cause now you are empty my sweet cup of coffee

Let’s do this again as I refill and it the experience repeats.



Oh my, that was a good night, let’s go to bed I told her.  In her drunken voice she said, “I don’t want to just go to bed I want to fuck”.  I told her she had too much and that we needed to get her to bed.  She started complaining that she was fine.  We were walking down the hall now and she turned to me and said, “I want to fuck, I don’t want to sleep yet”.  She then turned to me and hit me on the chest with her hand and it sent a pain through my chest.  Well that was it, that made the difference.  I said, “Okay lets fuck”.  I grabbed her and pushed her facing towards the wall.  I lifted the back of her shirt and unleashed her bra, as I was pushing with my hips to hold her against the wall.  She protested and I said,”Shhh, I am fucking you”.  I moved her back a bit and pulled her shirt up and pulled her bra off her breasts.  Within a quick motion, I pushed her back against the wall, and she let out, “Ow that’s cold”.  Her breasts were against the wall and it must have been too cool to her touch.  I put my left arm against her back to push her against it even more and now her breasts and her stomach was pushed against it.  I pulled her skirt up and reached between her thong and slid it to the side and with that I unbuttoned my pants and pulled my cock out.  She felt it pierce through her pussy with a force.  I was not gentle, as I wanted her to feel this fuck.  I wriggled my pants off my legs and still pressing against her I started to drive deeper inside her.  She was letting out moans and groans as the feeling was intense in her inebriated state.  She felt the thrust again as I pushed deep inside.  I bought this thong and it was mine to do what I wanted.  I reached down and grabbed it and ripped in apart.  It was in my way, and I wanted it to be out.  I was ready to fuck and that damn thong paid the price.  She screeched, “What are you doing”.  I told her to shhh, “I am fucking you, so take it and enjoy it.  I pressed her head to the side against the wall and drove my cock again inside her.  I attempted to press so deep I wanted to feel the coolness of the wall on my cock.  I continued to pound her deep and she came.  She was so excited about this fuck that she came again.  I pulled my cock out and pressed my left arm against her and pulled her skirt off.  Now she was there with her ass out, and a partial thong dangling down.  I reached my hand back and smacked her ass.  She yelped after the sting of my hand connected and the feeling went straight to her brain.  I reached back again and released another reddening smack to her ass.  She said “Ouch that’s too hard”.  I said,”Shhh, I am fucking you”.  I moved my cock back into position and slid it deep inside again.  I pounded her pussy and she came again.  She started to moan again, I bent my knees a little to get a different angle and like I was doing a squat thrust I lifted her with the next thrusting.  She skid upwards of the wall and I heard her scream, “Oh my god, I’m cumming”.  I bent down again and drilled upwards into her pussy and it was nice and wet that I felt her cum again as it gripped my cock like it was trying to choke around its neck.

It was time to have fun in the front.  I pulled my cock out and turned her around.  I lifted her shirt off and took her bra off to.  She shuddered with either cold or from the sensation of the fucking she was getting.  I pushed her back against the wall and she tried to jump but I anticipated it and was hard against her.  She lifted her right hand to try and push me off I would guess, but I grabbed it and then reached for her left.  I had both her hands and held them tightly.  She was not going to move.  Her breasts were there and her nipple was calling for attention.  I slid my tounge across her right nipple and she so caught up in the moment she could only gasp.  I moved over to her left nipple, and with a grin, I pulled her nipple in my mouth and nibbled on it.  I put pressure to it and she squelched, “Ouch.  That is too rough, I said,”Shhh, I am fucking you”.

I raised her hands above her head and with my right hand I grabbed both of her thumbs.  I am strong enough to hold her thumbs without her wriggling them free, a sort of Chinese finger torture style.  I took my left hand and grabbed her right breast and squeezed on it.  Intensifying the pressure I heard her say, “Ouch, too hard”.  I said,”Shhh, I am fucking you”.  I let go of her breast and pulled my left hand back and smacked her breast with it.  When I removed it, I seen the redness appear.  I then slapped her other breast.  It was a little harder and she jumped.  I reached down with my left hand and grabbed her right leg and lifted it up.  I moved in and my cock found its target.  Her pussy was open and inviting, it wanted to feel my cock again.  I slid inside and she moaned.  I had her off balance but she was not going anywhere.  Just like when I had her facing the wall, I knelt a little and drove my cock upwards deep into her pussy.  She let out another groan and then started drilling deep inside her.  The rocking of her against the wall, she let out another, “Uh, uh, I coming” and she was now screaming this.  I said,”Shhh, I am fucking you”.

I continued to pound her and then with the next release of her coming, I felt her squirt that hot female orgasm.  That was it for me, I pulled out and put her on her knees and as I held her head backwards I gave her a hot pearl necklace.  She was sitting there and gasping and I pulled my shirt off and cleaned her up.  She was about to say something, and I said,”Shhh, I was fucking you”.  We went to bed and slept and it was peaceful.

Sade-Erotika -Taste

I slowly kissed her neck and then run my tongue downward. The saltiness of her sweat exploded across my taste buds. I nibbled at her neckline and since our sexual voyage was so energetic, her whole body was sweaty and tasted salty.  Kissing downward and sliding my tongue into her pink cavern of heaven and enjoying every droplet she released. I  pulled her clit in my mouth with my lips and tasted her sweet nectar.  Her heat was rising and her juices started to flow as though a dam had bursted and it tasted so sweet.

6 senses -Touch Saderotika – (Pronounced Sha Day rot e ka)

Her skin was soft to the touch. As I slid my finger across her right breast, just to the inside and around to the outside feeling how soft it is.  I moved my finger slowly to her nipple, and felt that it was opposite to her skin.  It was hard and extended out and begging to be felt by finger.  I rubbed across it gently and felt the granite like protrusion.   Placing my thumb, and pressing ever so lightly against her nipple inward, I  moved the rest of my hand around and cupped her full round breast.

6 senses -Scent Saderotika – (Pronounced Sha Day rot e ka)

Today I will start with the sense of smell, or shall we use a play on words, the sense of scents.


The room is dark and my heart is pounding from the high energy sexual escapade.  My olfactory is in overdrive.  We lay here and I enjoy the spice of her vanilla perfume that she had chosen for the night.  The strong aromatic sense of sex surrounds us and it is intoxicating.  The smell of sweat intertwined with the bouquet of sexual juices that were released in our ecstasy voyage.

(The story will continue with the rest of the senses.)





Emotions Part 1 -Frustration

Frustration is an emotion that hits us all at some time. We feel this emotion when we seem we are trying so hard to do something and roadblocks jump in front of our momentum. Do we know this will happen, NO. Do we care for it to occur, NO. Does our mind wonder about why do I try, YES. So what do we do. We get an emotion that is defined as response to opposition. What is the opposition? Is it something that will kill us, hopefully, NO. Will it cause us bodily harm, again hopefully, NO. With this emotion, then let it make you stronger. Let us all learn the lesson that frustration teaches us. It is opposition and we will overcome it, not maybe the way we wanted but we will find a new way to overcome and persevere.


“Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success”. BO Bennett


What is on the horizon for you?

Time slips past you just like a passer on the street.

Were you just standing still?

Did you even notice it go by

What were you doing for not to notice?

It seems you were just, just, just?

What were you doing?

The thought has escaped you.

Now you think about it and then look in the mirror.

You notice that time has slipped past you.

So, the moral is don’t let time slip past you without living every second.  So, when you do look in the mirror you will see a fulfilled life full of happiness and joy looking back at you.  Start now living every second and drive negativity out of your life.  X

Want something a little daring try Sade


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Let’s Add Something New and Kinky Part 2

This is part 2 of this blog and I think you might like some of these or you may get your own ideas.  I like the idea of candles of course and the short and simple of it is that candles can make a good erotic part of your sexssion.  I won’t go into detail, but if you have never used candles then I suggest you read my blog of Preparation #1 as it details how to work with candles.

Now to add with that lets do a foodie thing.  Yes you did read food.  Here are some items that may have thought about, cucumber, banana, strawberries, but how have you thought to use them.  Example most think of cucumbers as the pleaser of the vagina.  Well guess what if you are deep inside her and she likes to suck on your thumb place that cucumber in her mouth and let her suck away at it.  Erotic for both.  Also could be said with a banana but face it is mushy and if you are in a good motion she will choke on that banana.  If you want to amp it up a bit put that cucumber in her ass while you are deep inside and then later you can peel it and still have it for your salad, lol just kidding, or am I.  So here is a good twist to the strawberries, as you cannot put them in her vajayjay as they will cause a pH unbalance but you can get some plain yogurt that is unsweetened or natural and slap that all over that pussy and lick it off her and with each bite eat a strawberry or a slice of kiwi or whatever you like your pussgurt to taste like.

When melons are in season, half them things up and place one on each of her melons.  Then toss some whip cream in there and smoosh them all around.  Make them breasts messy.  Speaking of messy, if at all possible take a time to have kitchen floor sex with all these food items.  You know as well as I do, you don’t want to get grandmas comforter messy, but if you take this to the kitchen and it gets messy then it’s an easy clean up.  This can also be done in the shower or in the bathtub, come on get creative.  Ok so if you can’t do this in the kitchen as you have kiddies that would have an aversion to fruit if they see mommy or daddy diddle the fruit and are scarred for life.  Go buy a new shower curtain and use it on your shower and take the old one and use it as a mess catcher.  Yes you can put across your bed or place it in the floor and go at it.  Also, get some ice cream and use it as a mouth stuffer and drill till you add cream.  Also it is always a pleasure to use ice and if you have her tied up or if she is a submissive or slave then to watch her skin move to the touch is erotic.

More to cum, X

Go Play and Have Fun Safe Sex

Want something a little daring try Sade


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Lets Add Something New and Kinky Part 1

Hey, are you tired of the vanilla that most websites have to offer for spicing up your sex life or let’s make it kinky.  Of course, the normal things that they offer are sex toys and sex games, of which most couples already have them in their repertoire.  Another of course is anal sex, which again usually have tried it and decided if it’s something that is a once thing or an all the time thing or maybe every so often.  Then there is the threesome, which is one of the main staples to it being kinky in the lets spice it up.  Threesomes usually is something that has usually been talked about and decided maybe (really means NO) or No and only if there has been a yes is it actually a yes if it has happened.  The last one that I will touch on is the watch porn, again really is this the best they could come up with for advice.  If you are in a relationship and have been then usually you have had the discussion to watch porn or not or have even have watched it together.

Now if you are reading this far, I have your attention on this matter as you are where more of us adults who wants something new to add to the spice.  So I will try and give you some ideas that may be a bit naughtier than the normal and will take some of the normal ideas and offer a twist.  I am not saying that you may have thought of it or that you may have not tried it but hopefully something will be new.  There is no specific order to these so just bear with me.

1)      Let’s sex it up the idea of anal sex.  So YES, let us try anal sex.  So you pop that brown cherry and she has the feeling of either she enjoys it or not.  Did you lube it, did you work your way to it, did you even play with her clit to get her in the mood?  No to anyone of those and then you probably got a one-time shot at it and to never try again.  If you want to add spice, and you don’t have a butt plug, Get One.  If you have one, then lube that pucker stuffer up and when you are riding her doggy style slide one of your fingers in slowly and while drilling your schlong drill that finger in slowly.  Work up to it, then as you get her all juiced up, slide that plug in and slowly move it all the way in.  Slide deep inside and pull her tight against you to hold the plug in and you to get as far deep inside her as you can.  Then grab her hips and pull her back towards you as you sit back on your legs.  This will pull her up and then you can grab her arms while you are sitting back on the balls of your feet and pull her deep on you.  This will change the position of your penis and she will enjoy it.  Also with this quick motion, it will take her by surprise and will make her feel out of control and that can be an aphrodisiac to some women.

Now it’s her turn to try it on you.  Okay if you are thinking No, then never try it on her again.  If you are too much of a homophobe to try it then you shouldn’t be trying it on her.  Let that one sit there for a moment and really think about it.  She has to get you in the mood and a good stroke and a finger in the ass is a great way to spice it up.

2)      Here is a good one, so there is the old role play idea well add it to date night and you have a good spice for the night.  Take this a bit further, when you have a date night, tell her you want to do a little role play.  So you two pick a place to meet, choose somewhere where you don’t go to on a normal basis or have never been before.  I suggest that seedy bar you know about but don’t go to, or if it happens that it may be the opposite, go to the more upscale bar as that’s not your thing.  Then you meet there or if not meet there, then drop her off and sit in your car or run and do the errand (will be explained later).  Then you go into the bar but don’t go over to her to start with and then after an appropriate time (I think at least one drinks worth) do the following:

  1. Send a drink over to her.
  2. Or go over to where she is sitting and introduce yourself and kiss her.
  3. Have her come over to where the he is sitting and give you a kiss (prefer this one personally)
  4. Strike up a conversation with a male and send a drink over and tell waitress to tell her it’s from your new male friend.
  5. The She could start a conversation with a female friend and ask her to go over to sit with the He of the relationship and act as if you don’t know each other.

Okay you get the idea.  So then you can leave together or start an argument and then leave separately to meet back at the car.

Errand: find a motel that’s close by and rent a room.  Nothing better than hot sex at a rent by the hour motel or a flea bag when you are out and met each other for the first time.

More kinkiness to follow see next posts.

Preparation 4 At Home

Okay so there is the point when you cannot do an elaborate outing.  Well that is the time you prepare for more of a sensual time.  Look especially for fellows, there is the time of the month when most women cannot embrace the full on sexual time, or you are not into it or both.  So that is when you should be sensual.


So this is the time to give a massage. 


Prepare for a sensual moment.  Setup some candles, or if you don’t have any candles go get some.  Don’t scrimp on the candles, get some real good ones that have a nice smell.  Such smells as Vanilla or a jasmine are good ones to use.

Prepare for it also by getting some nice soft music.  Go ahead and either get a radio on a soft station, as a good jazz station or a CD that plays soft music.  Test the CD out to make sure that the whole CD is soft and not a few songs on it.  As you want to take your time and give a good massage, at least one that lasts more than your sexual outing.  Take your time and flow with the music.


Also to prepare for this, get a good lotion for a massage nearby.  Set all of this up and try to use the lotion by yourself.  Picture you have your loved one stretched on the bed, and you want to get some more lotion to add to the smoothness, this is where you will see how cumbersome it may be.  Best lotion is one that has a pump to it.  Also, check to see what it smells like, as you want something soothing.  Jasmine is a smell that offers relaxation, but I am not saying it has to be Jasmine.


Prepare yourself to lightly speak to your lover while giving this awesome relaxing massage.  Test out a few sentences that you can softly whisper in their ear.  Tell them that you love them.  Tell them how much they mean to you and always tell them how much you need them in your life.  Explain things that they have done for you that has made your life more enjoyable.


Also this is a great way that when sex can be enjoyed, it is a way to get things going.

Go Play and Have Fun Safe Sex, well for this one, Fun Safe Sensual time

Preparation #3 – Timing

Preparation #1  Practice

Preparation#2 – Where


Okay so now we have prepared for what we want to do and we have prepared for where to have this rendezvous, so what’s left?  Well the timing has to be one that you both are willing to be in the mood.  This little couples tryst can happen at any time but it will be best when you have this fixed.  So suggestion would be either talk about doing it on a specific day or find out if that special person wants a surprise.  I think the surprise is the best but it takes a lot of forethought about preparing for it.  If you have kids you need to have it setup that there is a babysitter to take care of the little ones.  If no kids a lot easier, but you are not out of the woods yet.

So let’s deal with the easier one first.  Your special one wants to know about it, best to figure yourself if this is the case.  If they want to know about it then pick a day and believe me the ones who knows about it gets their sexual mojo started.  Because of the fact they know it is going to happen and if you spend some time a few days before teasing about it, then it will make it more exciting.  You have to be coy and throw hints that they are going to be put in ecstasy and that they will yearn for it to happen every week.  Build it up, get it percolating so that it is as exciting for you as it is for them.  This is especially good for both as it helps to pull you out of the work dreary day.

Now if you are going to do this as a surprise then that is more fun for you at the beginning but your lover will enjoy it as much as you do, if not more.  Do this one especially if your lover is a control freak and we all know who they are.  What you will have to do is keep a pulse on their day though and see where they are at.  Without a sexual innuendo, try and make their day better.  Also, have an understanding if your lover is a female where they are in their cycle, so you will know whether there will be play time or if it will end up massage and snuggle time if you don’t.  I find it is always good to ask about their day around the lunch time frame and see where they may be at emotionally.  Press that I Love You multiple times and how much they mean to you, as it will help make their day, but mean it.  It will also make it easier to move into raunchy steamy blood pulsing sex in a motel also.

If you find yourself at the point where you have prepared and they don’t seem like they are in the mood, then your preparation will pay off.  Why you ask?  Well you had went and set the motel room up with only the lamp on.  And have put on soft music that was not too loud that the rooms next to you would complain and also had put all the toys you want to play with in there.  Take a moment also to put some bath oils in the bathroom so that you can move into that magic moment with a little subtlety of a nice bath.  Also, a full nude body massage or in a little outfit you have chosen (lingerie, bra and panty set or my favorite a sexxxy smile) can also be a helpful starter <Grin>.

Go Play and Have Fun Safe Sex

Preparation part 2 – The Where

Now that we discussed preparation of some of the play things, there should also be some consideration of preparation for the fun place.  Now look you know as well as I do that Mommy and Daddy cannot be playing spanking when the little ones just went to bed without someone opening the door and going mommy, “Why is daddy spanking you? Were you a bad girl?”  So with that why not make a preparation of fun an adventure.

All across the country there are the seedy motels that you pass by and wonder how they are in business.  Hey guess what, that would be a great location to have a spanking good time at.  Leave the higher priced hotels for the more romantic and door opening adventures which is a bridge I will cross later.  Babysitter, a light supper and wham bam spank you ma’am, you have a new fun time.  It will be a new adventure, that when you pass by that little motel, you will put a smile on your face.

So preparation would be find the motel closest to you and rent it out before you leave for your date.  This way you don’t have your mojo lost, because your lover is sitting waiting on you to pay the 3 toothed wonder for a room.  Also after renting the room go into it and check out the way things are setup and what is in it.  This will give you a little confidence when you enter on your date, as you have an idea of what to expect.  And if it is a real dump, walk your lover to the room and blindfold them for the whole time.  That way it will make it easier especially if you blindfold them in your driveway before you leave.

Go Play and Have Fun Safe Sex


Preparation #1

When you are going to do something, preparation should be on the forefront of your thoughts.  If you want to do something properly take the time to prepare for it so you will have a better time and wont feel inadequate about it.  First of all, as most know if you want to have sex and there is no birth control then you must prepare for the situation by going to the store and getting condoms.

If you want to experiment with BDSM, it is the same thing you must prepare for it.  If you want to start lightly with it, then of course, there is spanking.  Prepare for it by first getting the item that you will be using to spank your lover with.  Second take it and hit it on your thigh to see what intensity it offers.  This will teach you a lot about what you will be using and what you won’t be using.

If you want to turn up the heat a bit and want to experiment with wax, then buy a few different types of candles and burn them.  Then slowly practice drizzling the wax off the candle onto a plate.  This of course will give you an idea of which candles will be easier to drizzle and which more or less drop.  Then it is also best if you try and use the candle that you find to drizzle on your skin.  This will give let you know what heights you can be at with the heat intensity of the candle wax.  Note wax is hot and it can burn if drizzled too close to the skin for first timers.  Take your burning candle and at about 24 inches above your thigh drizzle some and feel the heat intensity.  Now slowly move it closer to your skin.  This will give you at what height is best.  Also, to reduce heat to your lover use your hand as a deflector of the wax so it hits your hand first and then to your lover.  Best places to drizzle wax, in my opinion of course is the back, the breasts, the thighs, the butt and I like to do a controlled drizzle about 3 inches above the clit.  I enjoy pulling the wax off, especially when I have drizzled a lot in an area that cakes together and it can have a great sensation on the person that was receiving it.

Preparation makes it more fun and enjoyable and I will add more to the list of things to do to prepare for a fun and safe time.

Go Play and Have Fun Safe Sex

The Cloak

The feeling was unbearable.  I felt drained from life.  There was this sensation of nothing.  My mind was blank and this was not something that normal would happen.  I am vibrant and usually in a positive mood.  Time was not my friend and it was racing and moving at a snail’s pace all at the same time, if that is even possible.  What was happening to me?  I looked in the mirror and did not recognize myself.  It was me but it wasn’t.  So many confusing and non-descript terms were flowing in that brain of mine. 


I had been chugging along as normal and then things started to happen and I could not even see them occurring.  I started to feel sick, more like, hey I am getting the flu.  It was starting to wear me down and my body was in the shutdown mode.  It did not want to do life, but I was breathing and continuing on.  My anger level was increasing and my patience was decreasing.  Things were starting to bother me and this was not me. 


What was occurring? I did not know and I was not having it anymore.  I wanted it to quit but weeks have passed and it still continues.  I feel rundown more and more each day.  My life has changed from colorful to brown.  A dark deep brown and it was not even something to look at to decipher what color is that. 


Work was continuing and then I realized, there was a mask on my face. The mask shielded my feelings from everyone.  Not only work but to some extent my home life and friends were picking up on it but not sure what it was.  I had taken on more projects and was continuing to be productive but the flare was missing.  The energetic, punctual, and positive attitude was gone and replaced by this and it was starting to show.  I tried to hide it even more or was I even hiding it?  I am not sure, as I was not so sure what was actually going on. 


At some point, I realized it when I was looking in the mirror that there was something there.  It was unseen to others or maybe it wasn’t, but I wore a cloak.  The cloak was covering me and causing me these problems and I wanted to remove it but I couldn’t.  It was wrapped so tight around me that it was strangling the life right out of me.  I tried to remove it upon numerous occasions but was only able to loosen the grip.  It was of the brown color and it had a hold of me and was not going to let go. 


I decided it was time to change and I wanted the change to end now.  It had held onto me for too long and it was time to finish this and move on.  I looked in the mirror and I exclaimed, “Remove yourself!”  The cloak did not hear me as I was feeling that drain even more.  It was seemingly useless and now it seems to grasp even tighter. 

Don’t worry though, I have a better handle of the cloak as I know what its true purpose is.  It is teaching me that things as well as they can be, also can be this way.  So I will shed my cloak someday but not seemingly right now as I am learning from it.  So when I do shed my cloak, I will have been through the journey.  I have named my cloak Depression and I will live through it.



August 30, 2012 by gabdeveraux

“You need to at least dip one toe into the water.” This is what my grandma used to say as we approached the cold and often numbing waters of the Pacific. She felt that it didn’t count if you didn’t put at least one toe in. I cherish that idea as I dip my toe into the deep blue waters of the Pacific.

Toes in the Pacific.

I often write about water. It has been a big part of my life….

A young little blonde girl of only eight with hair flowing down her back with lime green summery shorts and a Minnie Mouse short sleeved yellow t-shirt runs as fast as she can before everyone awakes to start the day in the cabin in the deep Olympic National Forest on Dewatto Bay. Bacon and coffee will soon fill the cabin and permeate the air and footsteps will be stomping hard on the ancient oak floors and the fire will crackle as it is stoked to take the chill off from the morning.

Outside the air is crisp and dew has bestowed upon the green grass or what is left of it from the hot summer sun. Behind the cabin is where the little girl is called to. There is a large ancient well at the crest of the woods. The well serves the cabin of summer visitors. Around the well is what interests the child, she looks around and breathes in the freshness of the massive growth of wild mint that has taken a home. The leaves are damp as she snips off a peace and rubs it gently to release the oils into her palm. This is her routine, her ritual upon entering her sanctuary.

The trail head is noticeable and marked seemingly just for the little girl. Naturally made by a large overgrowth in the shape of a large arch, she walks through the magical place. She enters her home barefoot and feels the ground embracing her, the trees speak to her. The sounds of the insects, birds and ever flowing water lovingly call out her name.

As the young one journey’s into the deeper dark woods a branch kisses her arm with the dew from the morn. She feels the ferns with her hands, gliding them across as she runs, running faster through the woods feeling the floor of the forest against her feet.

Nature has called upon her and she has answered. A bridge entirely made from a fallen lost tree who no longer had life is serving a purpose for her now. The moss has made a home on this fallen log. She crosses the naturally made bridge thinking of the life of the tree. She approaches her end.

There the wonder, the beauty that was calling her out of her warm sleeping bag in the early morning hours. The small opening of a crystal clear bubbling stream. She dips her first toe in and now the second as a chill crawls up her legs. Both her feet are now in the chilled water. She closes her eyes and breathes in the sounds of the trickle, the dampness of the deep canopy that called her. She embraced and fell in love with the water at this very moment.

My first fish at the stream!

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